And baby makes three (or four or five or…)

Earlier this year I sat on a bench munching away at cherry tomatoes – the only thing that Baby W seemed to allow into my system.  I was about 5 months pregnant, and yes, the dreaded nausea just would not leave.  I saw a girl staring at me with that, “What the heck is wrong with that girl eating tomatoes first thing in the morning!?” So I hoped she was a mom and while patting my belly, I said, “Gotta eat what the baby lets me eat!”  She pulled out a bottle of water and said, “And drink whatever the baby lets me drink!”, as she returned a pat on her own belly.  YES! Not only had I found a mom to commiserate with, but I found a PREGNANT mom! Score!

My new friend, OV, turned out to be a really sweet girl from Moldova who was 6 months into her very first pregnancy.  She is married and her in-laws live locally, but her family, just like mine, is far, far away (across the big pond, to be exact).  So we bonded.  We bonded over morning/day/evening/night sickness, we bonded over husbands that just don’t get it, and we bonded over people moving clear out of our way as we waddled down the street.  But mostly, we bonded over the fact that our families, particularly our moms, were very far away.

This is my third go around with pregnancies, so I have to admit I have not been very scared (don’t quote me on that when D-Day arrives!), but poor OV: she was nervous.  I tried my best over the next few months to help her prepare, both mentally and physically for what was to happen.  “It won’t be pretty or clean; it will hurt like hell!  BUT, the moment they place that baby on your chest, you won’t even realize the doctor is still down under fishing for more gunk!”

We shared in baby shower laughters and glared down together the cruel, heartless people who made “WOWZA! Looks like you’re about to blow!!” comments.  (FYI, NEVER EVER say that, it’s not cool).  (Even if it is possibly true).

And finally five days ago I received a text from her: “Girl, I think my waters just broke!”  Let me be honest here: I was very happy for her, VERY.  But I also wanted to very much punch her. VERY.  I mean, how did SHE get to go into labor and NOT ME?!  Sure, sure, she was a whole month ahead of me, but the injustice!  I wished her well, of course, and asked that she kept me up-to-date.

Baby Mayson was born May 23 at 1.10 pm weighing a whopping 8 pounds 3 ounces and is 21 inches long.  He has a beautiful head-full of dark hair and dark dark eyes.  Beautiful baby!

When my jealousy subsided, and I knew Mamma OV had finally regained some kind of senses from what turned out in fact to not being “pretty or clean”and did in fact “hurt like hell”, I finally spoke to OV and she gave me a full recount of the whole endeavor (most interesting fact to me was an article she read stating that rolling gently – on your bum – on a yoga/exercise ball will ease and open your cervix – and within hours of rolling, her waters broke!)  But when I asked her the most grueling question: How do you feel as a mom? she surprised me: “It feels so weird.  🙂 I still cannot believe he came out of me! 🙂 Every time he cries or burps or farts, I have a small heart attack.  I don’t know how you are willing to endure the pain a THIRD time, but I definitely want more babies too!”  And there you have it!  U, moms, we all cringed and screamed and cursed for hours on end, but then it’s over – you hold that little prize and you realize you would do it all over again and again just to see his face!  Mother Nature is cruel and mean and kind of gross, but she is also absolutely beautiful and magical!

Attention all dads:  my second question for OV had to do with her husband.  Now you see, Baby W will be The Man’s first son, so he is a nervous wreck.  I have been searching for ways to ease his nerves, but this is my third go around and only his first.  I remember how scared I was, but I surely do not know how it must feel to be the dad.  So I asked OV how her husband and first time daddy reacted.  She said, “He was so very excited!!  I will never forget the look on his face when he first saw the baby!”  Moms, do you remember the look she’s talking about?  There are only 3 times in your WHOLE life that your man will look that amazing:  when he is on his knees proposing, when he’s standing at the altar looking down the aisle at you walking toward him, and lastly, when he sees his first (and yes, second, third, fourth, etc) born.  It’s a look of pride, joy, love – it’s, once again, Mother Nature at her best!

I saw OV today, holding Baby Mayson.  She was still the girl I met a few months back, who also took on the habit of eating cherry tomatoes like they were candy.  But she was also different today.  She truly became a woman, a mother.  That little baby became the new focus of her life, he has taken center stage and she could not be any happier.  And I swear to you, I also could not be any happier for her too!  Mostly because I also have a yoga ball that is about to be sat on… cross your fingers and wish me and Baby W godspeed!


Baby Mayson

Baby Mayson

Mamma OV and Baby Mayson

Mamma OV and Baby Mayson


What I did not sign up for

“Baby G, you are pushing my buttons today!!!”

“Really?” [Talking to Baby D] “Did you know Mamma had buttons?!”

Day 3 of Summer Break and they are already driving me insane.  Now sure, partial blame should be placed on Baby W who is less than a month away from gracing the world with his presence (don’t worry – the constant jabs and karate chops never let me forget he’s a growing boy).  However, a great blame can be placed on his two older brothers who insist on fighting over who’s turn it is to play Minecraft (what a senseless game!) and why in response to my pleas, it is truly impossible to play together.  Or why, mathematically speaking, Baby D got at LEAST 2mm more juice in his cup and that’s totally not fair!

But it’s ok – I can handle all of this.  I knew it was coming when the ultrasound showed me that extra body part (arggg why never a girl?!).  So I prepped for the summer:  had a large pool installed, searched the crevices of Pinterest for summer activities and ideas, signed them up for summer camps (mostly vacation Bible schools – who knows, maybe instilling some God in them will calm them down!!)

Some things, however, I did not sign up for.

This morning I dared entering their room – always a dangerous feat because you never know what you will find – living or not.  Today I found 2.5 living creatures in there:  BJ, the cat: alive and napping on the top bunk.  Though he isn’t really allowed in the house, I pick my battles wisely and this one just isn’t worth the fight.  Next, I find Zane, the turtle.  Just last week I realized his green little shell was turning slightly pale so I moved the poor guy into sunlight and he seemed very appreciative of the action.  He only hid his limbs in his little shell, but left his head peaking out as if thanking me in some weird turtle manner.  Today, also, he was just fine.  Lastly I spot the largest tank in the room, home to Dino, the newt (or salamander? No one is really sure what he is, honestly – the man at the mall swore he was a baby dinosaur, hence his name…)  I saw the tank, I saw the rocks Dino usually creeps out of when I come around, but what I did not see was Dino.

OH LORD! HE GOT OUT!  The thought of that slimy dinosaur lurking in my house sent chills down my spine!  “Man up, Woman!”, I tell myself.  I took a deep breath and dove straight into action.  I lifted the entire tank: water, rocks, and possible Dino and all.  The whole thing weighed a good 50 pounds (ok, I am probably exaggerating, but as always Baby W had to kick and that did not facilitate the move).  I took the tank to the bathroom, got some disposable plastic gloves (I have learned at least this: when living in a house full of boys and random animals, ALWAYS have disposable plastic gloves – you never know what grossness you have to collect), and slowly prepared for a tank clean-up.  First, I removed the rocks:  under rock one there was nothing but goo.  Under rock two, I discovered a slithering, slimy, and suddenly really skinny Dino.  Alive. So gross, but poor little guy, he did not look so happy.  Usually when he sees me he opens his gross little mouth all wide so I will drop a couple of his little dinosaur kernels into his tank.  But today he did not look too interested in lunch time.

Long story short, let me just draw you a picture:  I am 8 months pregnant, in my pajamas, singing lullabies to a newt/salamander/thing in my bathroom.  The boys come in to check on me and just watch in amazement as I show such love and compassion for an amphibian that as far as they knew, I thought was a repulsive, slimy creature.   But let’s be honest:  when we see another life living in distress, we, as mothers, step it up.

I cleaned his tank, placed him back in his home and then fed him (mouth wide open, this time).  He is a much happier Dino now.  Zane just looked at me from his again green shell, and BJ sneaked into my room – I do, after all, have the softest comforter in the house.

And would you listen to that?? -No yelling.  No fighting.  One of the boys, or both, must have fallen asleep.  Ah, no, there was a crashing sound now.  It’s all good in the world again…

First comes love, then comes marriage…

The Man and I met over 3 years ago.  Our love story isn’t as pretty as one that Disney might concoct.  He thought I was hot (duh, silly boy!) and I wanted a dinner date.  Romantic, right?  It worked out in our favor: I chose a smoking top and he chose a great restaurant – the rest is history.  Last April we made it official and spent a fortune on our wedding.  It was fantastic and beautiful and perfect and all that sappy jazz.  But all us married folk know the real story starts AFTER the honeymoon is over!  (The honeymoon – remind me to post about that one because it was amazing!!!!)

I was laying in bed the other night, not sleeping of course because Baby W never lets me sleep anymore, and I was contemplating life.  I tried to feel all love-y looking at The Man, sound asleep next to me (he is fortunate to NOT have a bulging belly filled with an overly anxious child ready to meet the world).  In movies people gaze at their slumbering lovers and smile.  But in the real world?  I was looking at him snoring (so hot), sheets up to his chin.. Beyond him, the room was a mess – I swear I will get to putting all that laundry away!  My thoughts quickly turned to, “Oh my God! Is this for real?  Is this my life forever?”  Now, don’t get me wrong – I wasn’t panicking because it was The Man there laying next to me, or because we all know that laundry is never ever ending.  I was more amazed than panicked.  4 years ago had I woken up in the middle of the night with The Man laying next to me, snores and all, I would have freaked!   But look at how quickly our minds and bodies adapt to change.  Since then my mind and body have adapted to a change in my life that now includes him, in fact, I can no longer visualize a future without him.

Try this tonight with your significant other:  touch them, and not in some crazy way, you freak!  I mean something simple like allowing your foot to rest on their leg under the sheets, or your hand on their shoulder.  Does it feel awkward because I am instructing you to do so?  Get over it.  Look beyond that and feel how natural it feels to touch someone that maybe just a few months or years back you would have backed away from.   How beautiful is it that our bodies instruct us to not only be ok, but embrace the touch of another individual.  How beautiful that were my body physically ends, his picks back up to form a continuous joint form?  My life is his life and his is mine.

Aw, now look at me – I got all love-y dove-y after all!

Keep reading,

The Woman

Look at that love

Look at that love

Getting Started – All About Me

I have played with the idea of starting a blog for quite some time, but with so many blogs out there, who will ever take the time to read mine?  My conclusion?  It doesn’t really matter!  If you happened to stumble on my page, welcome!  If I coerced you to read it, thank you for obliging!

Let me tell you all about me:  I am close to reaching that first dreaded age group shift – the 20s are soon to be a thing of my past.  I am married to The Man.  I have two boys, Baby G and Baby D, and in just over 6 weeks, I will have another boy, Baby W!  Do you see why my blog page is entitled “No Pretty In Pink Here”?  All I have known for over 9 years now is blue, green, monsters, dinosaurs, Ben 10, blasting video games, football, baseball, basketball..the list is endless but does not include the color pink.

I was raised in Europe – a key point to understanding why many of my views are considerably liberal, but alternately, my family values are very traditional.  I believe in home cooked meals served at the table on a tablecloth, every day.  I believe in lazy Sundays after church. I believe in I love you’s and in kissing.  But I do not believe in baby talk – there are no boo boos or passies in my home.  I teach the right word from the start – affection and discipline; chaos and order.

My goal with this blog is to recount the ordinary happenings of life: birthday parties, school events, marital successes and struggles, pet drama…  The ordinary is exactly what makes the world go round, after all.

Enjoy reading,

The Woman


Here we are!